Perfecting Perfection

Came across an article in the Catholic News (Jan 29, 2012) written by Karen Osborne titled:"Forget about wanting things perfect in 2012 - That ain't gonna happen..." The title in bold printed letters caught my attention and I read on. You may refer to the online version here. I guess the 'perfectionist' in me reacted to the title with, "what do you mean?? nooo.. things have to be PERFECT!" After reading the article, it had pointed out alot of things which you and I already know, but often tend to forget easily.

"We have to remember that every single human being ever born on this earth has character flaws. Maybe you know someone who has shoplifted. You definitely know people who have lied. You know people who have cheated. Every single human being has passed on gossip... When our friends fail us, we can sometimes get so caught up in how awful we feel that we forget we’re just like them — that that we are not perfect either, and that we’ve all disappointed someone else..."

So how do we move on and make the best of things when we are faced with disappointments by people and events? The only real way?

"The only real way to strive for a perfection that lasts is to forgive others - and to forgive ourselves...Forgiveness paves the way for both you and the person who wronged you, to make something beautiful and new out of your relationship."

And my favourite liner of the article is, "This, ultimately, is the "perfect" solution."

Melt the Frozen, Warm the Chill

Last Saturday I attended a talk conducted by Sr Elizabeth Sim on understanding your thoughts and emotions. I guess you could say I signed up for it as I really wanted to understand why and how our thoughts and emotions come about and how it affects us. It was a good talk, kept light and well-paced. One takeaway I had from the 3-hour long session was this:

Hurt-->Resentment-->Emotional Debt-->Triggers-->Inappropriate Action

Basically it's when you're hurt by something someone said, and you do not express it to the person who has hurt you, that emotion turns to resentment (whether you know it or not) and this resentment becomes anger not expressed. You then incur 'emotional debt'. This bank of emo debt grows over time each time you keep stuff bottled up or supressed. Soon enough, any incident, no matter or trivial or insignificant can trigger off an inappropriate action that doesn't quite match the situation. For example, a close friend could have lashed out at you without you realising what hit you. Knowing that it's very out-of-character for this friend to behave in this way, there must be a reason for her behaviour. Bottomline is, whatever that is bugging you, it's best to talk it out or to confront the situation.

This is very hard to do. Personally, I believe pride often get in the way of forgiveness and reconciliation between two people who had fallen out. However, I believe that with Christ's love, it is possible. Even if it means you have to do it seventy times seven times.

"Melt the Frozen, Warm the Chill" - My favourite liner from the Pentecost Sequence Prayer