Last Saturday I attended a talk conducted by Sr Elizabeth Sim on understanding your thoughts and emotions. I guess you could say I signed up for it as I really wanted to understand why and how our thoughts and emotions come about and how it affects us. It was a good talk, kept light and well-paced. One takeaway I had from the 3-hour long session was this:
Hurt-->Resentment-->Emotional Debt-->Triggers-->Inappropriate Action
Basically it's when you're hurt by something someone said, and you do not express it to the person who has hurt you, that emotion turns to resentment (whether you know it or not) and this resentment becomes anger not expressed. You then incur 'emotional debt'. This bank of emo debt grows over time each time you keep stuff bottled up or supressed. Soon enough, any incident, no matter or trivial or insignificant can trigger off an inappropriate action that doesn't quite match the situation. For example, a close friend could have lashed out at you without you realising what hit you. Knowing that it's very out-of-character for this friend to behave in this way, there must be a reason for her behaviour. Bottomline is, whatever that is bugging you, it's best to talk it out or to confront the situation.
This is very hard to do. Personally, I believe pride often get in the way of forgiveness and reconciliation between two people who had fallen out. However, I believe that with Christ's love, it is possible. Even if it means you have to do it seventy times seven times.
"Melt the Frozen, Warm the Chill" - My favourite liner from the Pentecost Sequence Prayer
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