I can't sleep tonight, I guess I've had a few things weighing on my mind recently. Some good, some not so good.

Here's a question: Why is it the people whom you love (and you know they love you too and yet) hurt you too easily? Due to recent events, it must have become apparent how I felt cos my mum came up to me to talk about it. I smiled and told her: don't worry mum, it's ok, I know he's like that, I'm not bothered. I guess you can say I am very bothered. I can only pray and ask God to take away the hurt caused unto me.

Count your blessings I always say. I'm counting them Lord, I'm counting them all. Oh one more thing Lord, please grant me patience, lots of it.

Good Friday 2011

When I was at home this afternoon, getting ready to attend the Good Friday 3pm service*, it felt like I was about to attend the funeral mass of my one and only best friend, Jesus. The mood was sombre and I couldn't help but to notice the air outside was still.

Service started promptly at 3pm as the servers, communion ministers and priests walked in solemnly. The atmosphere was just sad and it was just minutes into the service that the rain came falling down.

Every year, I would tell friends and family, "Just wait and see, it's bound to rain on Good Friday." True to word, it did. I do not, for one second, think it's coincidence at all.

During the Veneration of the Cross by the priest, it continued to pour outside. When the priest unveiled part of the cross and sang the phrase, "This is the wood of the Cross, on which hung the Saviour of the World", the thunder just roared through the air as everyone responded,"Come, let us worship." It was just unbelievably surreal. I cannot fully describe how I felt at that time, it was a mix of sadness and being in awe I suppose.

This song by LeAnn Rimes pretty much sums it up.

*It's called a service on Good Friday (and not Mass) as Jesus had died and is not present in the Eucharistic Celebration"

The Choice Weekend - March 2011

Well, I finally went for the Choice weekend. People (who don't know better) always think that Choice is a retreat for singles to fall in love with each other like it was some kinda match-making event. But just so you know what the Choice Weekend is, it's a weekend retreat where singles aged 18-35yo get together to learn a whole lot of stuff. More information can be found here: http://www.choice.org.sg/

So after 2 failed attempts in attending it, I finally went as I couldn't bring myself to tell Albert i/c of Registration, for the third time, to withdraw my registration :) haha

I enjoyed all of it - dormitory life for the 3D2N, rushing down to the hall when the bell sounded, heading down to the kitchen hungrily when it was time for lunch or dinner, singing grace before meals, making new friends and of course, spending time with the Lord. Also, I gotta say it felt absolutely wonderful to be a retreat participant than the camp organiser :p

If you're feeling like your soul is dying (dramatically speaking of course) and/or you need to breakaway from the daily toil, and of course if you're single and aged btw 18-35, do sign up for it. The next one's in May 2011 :)

What Say You?

Tonight we had Lenten Reflections at Peta's place. It marked the first time we were all gathered at her home since Aunty Anne's departure from earth. It was kept unspoken but it felt like she's never left (in a good way, of course).

Anyway we reflected on Genesis 12:1-4 and share on a word that touched us, A WORD and not a phrase! That was tough to do as for most, it was a phrase or two that caught our attention but a word!

Getting down to it, most of us shared the same word: BLESSING

Everyone shared on how the Lord has played an important part in their lives, even at times when they didn't know of His presence there with them, in their times of darkness and trials.

Looking back, I have to say the Lord has definitely put me in the right direction despite my stubbornness and playful heart. He pulled me out of my sinking ship, gave me a good new workplace for refuge and restoration of my soul. This new workplace was near the Good Shepherd Cathedral where I would attend lunchtime mass sometimes and also where my godmother was working just across the road. She's always there with a listening ear, ever encouraging and supportive of my views, thoughts and decisions., and never for a moment, judge me. The Lord guided me through it all and one year later, I'm back to what I'm meant to do. And the post-it notes written to describe me by fellow colleagues, are to me, an affirmation of the Lord's blessing upon me. I thank and praise the Lord for his goodness and love for me. (erm btw the word 'gambler' was only because I had spent the weekend before at RWS :p but no casino ok! hehe.)

So here's the thing.

Life can really throw you off-course sometimes, but with the Lord always there, whether you know it or not, whether you want to acknowdedge His presence or not, whether you even believe in Him or not, He's there. All you have to do it open your heart to Him and speak to Him, for He is listening.

wisdom

I was reading (the Book of) Sirach today and I'm amazed at how relevant and close to heart it is to us even in today's context. Apart from the wise words on the need for reflection, self-control, the call to repentance and the majesty of God, he also touched on several topics like lying, loose talk, silence, speech and inappropriate speech, anger and vengence, hypocrisy, etc. Oh just so many things that we encounter on a day-to-day basis.

It's funny how some people's faces came to mind, including my own of course, as I read through some of his writings.

Well, one piece of wisdom to share with all of you :

"Do not revel in great luxury,
or you may become impoverished by its expense.
Do not become a beggar by feasting with borrowed money,
when you have nothing in your purse.
The one who does this will not become rich;
one who despises small things will fail little by little."
-Sirach 18:32 - 19:1

Praying for Time - Carrie Underwood

I Made my Choice!

I am finally signed up for Choice Weekend and will be attending it next weekend (28-30 Jan). I believe it's all in God's timing really. I was determined to attend it last year in Nov/Dec but I was just too swamped with Advent and Christmas preparations at church that I had to tell the organisers to push me to the next one. They got in touch with me last week and after pondering it over for 2 days, I said Yes.

Please pray for me during this time. Thank you and God bless you!

Afternote: I didn't attend it as I didn't feel quite prepared. I hope that I'd feel ready for the next one!