One Last Thing Before I Go...

The last week of 2011 was a mad crazy one for me. After all the feasting over the Christmas weekend, I was down with sore throat and flu. Then I realised I double-booked myself for dinner with two different friends on the same day, to which I had to postponed both as I wasn’t feeling well. I was also supposed to get some stuff for 70 children for the church party. Then, 3 days before a wedding, I was tasked to be the bridesmaid to which I was happy to agree to. But then, that left me with the big question of whatever shall I wear??

So on Wednesday after work, I made my way to get the dress but I had to make a pit-stop to collect a bag of presents from my cuz Bec (thank you becca!! Xoxo). So with the heavy big bag, I was thinking how in the world am I going to shop for a dress this way now?? Thankfully my sister was on the way to my place and collected it from me at one of the stations. And then I had only an hour or so to get the dress (and matching shoes :p) at Metro and praise God, I found THE one. After that I rushed back home before 930pm for a cut-cake surprise thingy we had for my aunt who had flown in that morning. Throughout the entire day, I could not breathe very well. I wasn’t sure if it was the medication or me just being overwhelmed. On top of it all, I was just plain tired and could not sleep that night, which meant only one thing and that was the following morning was going to be terrible. Thursday came and by the grace of God, I made it to work.

I thank the Lord for his kindness and graces shown unto me. I received some good news that morning at work and I was just overwhelmed with joy. It is beyond words to describe how I feel, just very thankful. The Lord knows our hearts desires, and He listens to us when we speak to Him.

In addition to the good news, I get to play Bridesmaid on the last day of 2011! How awesome is that? :) I can’t think of a better way on how I’d like to wrap up the year with. All praise and thanks to God my Saviour!

Happy New Year 2012, everyone! May your year be filled with His abundant blessings and that you will be inspired to do great things with the life He has given you.

Xoxo,
Pam

my homework

Last week at the catechist training course by Father Terence, we were all given homework. We had to re-write a psalm. Any psalm. So I decided to do my favourite psalm :) PSALM 91. I was first 'introduced' to this some years ago by my dad. This prayer had never failed to remind me of the Lord's powerful love and protection for me. So here's my version:

Psalm 91- ASSURANCE OF GOD’S PROTECTION

You who turn to the Lord at all times, in good and bad
All praise and thanks to Him, be it happy or sad
You who place your trust in His everlasting love,
Have placed yourself in His strong loving arms of care

People will plot against you and watch you stumble
Evil lurks around you and await your blunder
But in that lowly second of doubt and confusion
Call out to Him and He will not fail you

He will cover you with his wholesome protection
Keep you safe from every danger
Misery will leave you and joy you will find
In your hearts burning brightly for in there the Lord will shine

The Lord is my protector, and I have nothing to fear
Praise and Glory to His mighty power
By my side, He is always here

-pamela b. -

I called and the Lord, He answered Me!

Praise the Lord! :) The Lord knows I've been thinking alot lately about the Ark's upcoming session for kids on Bartimaeus and He knows that I've been trying hard to look for a good fun song to sing! Today, He gave me 2 beautiful messages! One was taken from Facebook:

And you won't believe what the other message was... actually it was more like the answer to my prayers!! :)) Copy and Paste the link below, turn up your speakers! Have Fun ;)

freemusic.jesuslifetogether.com/Songs-of-Love-and-War/Bartimaeus'-Song (I have no idea why the link doesn't work when you click on it, hence you will need to copy and paste to enjoy this song!!)

Praise you Lord Jesus!! Amen!

3 nights in Bangkok

Following my last entry, I would like to thank everyone for their prayers. When I posted that, I had a Bangkok trip due that week and all I could think of (or rather worry about) was the 'cleanliness' of my hotel room and that nothing will disturb us for the 3 nights that we were going to spend in BKK.

Praise the Lord! Our nights were free from any disturbances or cause for worry. The only problem was the very thin walls that led us to hear the neighbouring room guests slamming the doors at night. Yes, I'm quite sure it's not ghosts. :) hehe..

Thank you all for your prayers during this time, it is very much appreciated!

xoxo

Jesus, be with me.

Since my return from Phuket in June, I've had about a total of 5 encounters (to-date) of the third kind. I know the Lord is with me and I have nothing to fear but I do not understand why I'm starting to be highly sensitive to 'them'.

1. In Phuket, we stayed in a double-storey villa. I was upstairs with my 4yo niece playing cards on the bed when 'someone' fiddled with the doorknob, as if trying to enter the bedroom. This went on for a few seconds until I shouted,'Who's that?? Come in!" as the door wasn't locked. The minute I said to come in, the fiddling stopped and the door opened, only that no one came in. I got up to swing the door open and well no one was there. We then went downstairs and I knew it couldn't have been any of them as my 7yo nephew was engrossed watching cartoon in the hall with my folks, my sister and her hubby were preparing dinner. As I sat next to my dad, I asked him anyone had just gone up to open my door, as I asked him the light above us flickered. I don't know what to make out of it but I wasn't entirely freaked out until I came back to Singapore. It all sank in as to how could the door possibly open by itself especially after I had yelled to come in. (June 14, 2011, 7pm)

2. I attended my gym class on a Saturday evening and as after I hurriedly got dressed in the locker room, I made my way to the shower area to wash my hands at the sink. That was when I noticed a girl wrapped in a white towel, looking rather pale, with her hair wet and just sitting there at the bench staring into nothingness and looking rather lifeless. Our eyes met as I walked past her (to get to the sink) and I just managed a small smile acknowlegement then went about my business, not thinking back on her or anything about that. That night I slept at around 10plus as I was so flat out from the workout only to find myself awake at 3am and my thoughts went directly to the scene in the locker/shower room when it all became clear to me that OMG I think that girl wasn't a real human. It was as if it was all revealed to me at 3am (why Lord why??) that it was probably a spirit of someone who may have died there in that gym. Of course I tried to confirm this with my PT but as if they're going to tell us that yes someone did die there. (July 16, 2011, 3am)

3. I was fast asleep and awaken by a hideous laughter coming from across my block (where blocks 3 and 4, and the small hilly area). It was clear, it was continuous, it didn't sound human and I'm quite sure it wasn't an animal either. A friend asked me if I was dreaming it and I said no way because I remember feeling very annoyed at being woken up and so I said a short prayer before I fell back asleep. (July 27, 2011)

4. I was sleeping when I was disturbed by 'something' playfully tugging my blanket and nudging me awake. I kept falling back asleep after each time being awake as I was just plain tired. (July 31, 2011, around 5am)

5. Last night I had a nightmare, I've had nightmares before but the one last night was the first that really frightened me that I had to blog about. I dreamt that I was sleeping with my friend in the next bed and I told her not to look out the window (as I believed there was something there). The next thing I know, the 'thing', wrapped in a white blanket, crawled over me and started using its nails to scratch my arm (which I had used to block myself from it). I remember calling the name of Jesus. I cried, 'JESUS!' and a second time, 'JESUS' and it disappeared. And I woke up, said a prayer, grabbed my rosary and tried to fall back to sleep.

Please keep me in your prayers when you pray. I do know that the more you do the Lord's work or try your best to follow His ways, you are bound to face all sorts of stuff that will stop you or deter you from building his kingdom.

I trust in my Lord and in His goodness, and I believe that my Father in heaven will not abandon me.

Melt the Frozen, Warm the Chill

Last Saturday I attended a talk conducted by Sr Elizabeth Sim on understanding your thoughts and emotions. I guess you could say I signed up for it as I really wanted to understand why and how our thoughts and emotions come about and how it affects us. It was a good talk, kept light and well-paced. One takeaway I had from the 3-hour long session was this:

Hurt-->Resentment-->Emotional Debt-->Triggers-->Inappropriate Action

Basically it's when you're hurt by something someone said, and you do not express it to the person who has hurt you, that emotion turns to resentment (whether you know it or not) and this resentment becomes anger not expressed. You then incur 'emotional debt'. This bank of emo debt grows over time each time you keep stuff bottled up or supressed. Soon enough, any incident, no matter or trivial or insignificant can trigger off an inappropriate action that doesn't quite match the situation. For example, a close friend could have lashed out at you without you realising what hit you. Knowing that it's very out-of-character for this friend to behave in this way, there must be a reason for her behaviour. Bottomline is, whatever that is bugging you, it's best to talk it out or to confront the situation.

This is very hard to do. Personally, I believe pride often get in the way of forgiveness and reconciliation between two people who had fallen out. However, I believe that with Christ's love, it is possible. Even if it means you have to do it seventy times seven times.

"Melt the Frozen, Warm the Chill" - My favourite liner from the Pentecost Sequence Prayer

Restless by Audrey Assad

I can't sleep tonight, I guess I've had a few things weighing on my mind recently. Some good, some not so good.

Here's a question: Why is it the people whom you love (and you know they love you too and yet) hurt you too easily? Due to recent events, it must have become apparent how I felt cos my mum came up to me to talk about it. I smiled and told her: don't worry mum, it's ok, I know he's like that, I'm not bothered. I guess you can say I am very bothered. I can only pray and ask God to take away the hurt caused unto me.

Count your blessings I always say. I'm counting them Lord, I'm counting them all. Oh one more thing Lord, please grant me patience, lots of it.

Good Friday 2011

When I was at home this afternoon, getting ready to attend the Good Friday 3pm service*, it felt like I was about to attend the funeral mass of my one and only best friend, Jesus. The mood was sombre and I couldn't help but to notice the air outside was still.

Service started promptly at 3pm as the servers, communion ministers and priests walked in solemnly. The atmosphere was just sad and it was just minutes into the service that the rain came falling down.

Every year, I would tell friends and family, "Just wait and see, it's bound to rain on Good Friday." True to word, it did. I do not, for one second, think it's coincidence at all.

During the Veneration of the Cross by the priest, it continued to pour outside. When the priest unveiled part of the cross and sang the phrase, "This is the wood of the Cross, on which hung the Saviour of the World", the thunder just roared through the air as everyone responded,"Come, let us worship." It was just unbelievably surreal. I cannot fully describe how I felt at that time, it was a mix of sadness and being in awe I suppose.

This song by LeAnn Rimes pretty much sums it up.

*It's called a service on Good Friday (and not Mass) as Jesus had died and is not present in the Eucharistic Celebration"

The Choice Weekend - March 2011

Well, I finally went for the Choice weekend. People (who don't know better) always think that Choice is a retreat for singles to fall in love with each other like it was some kinda match-making event. But just so you know what the Choice Weekend is, it's a weekend retreat where singles aged 18-35yo get together to learn a whole lot of stuff. More information can be found here: http://www.choice.org.sg/

So after 2 failed attempts in attending it, I finally went as I couldn't bring myself to tell Albert i/c of Registration, for the third time, to withdraw my registration :) haha

I enjoyed all of it - dormitory life for the 3D2N, rushing down to the hall when the bell sounded, heading down to the kitchen hungrily when it was time for lunch or dinner, singing grace before meals, making new friends and of course, spending time with the Lord. Also, I gotta say it felt absolutely wonderful to be a retreat participant than the camp organiser :p

If you're feeling like your soul is dying (dramatically speaking of course) and/or you need to breakaway from the daily toil, and of course if you're single and aged btw 18-35, do sign up for it. The next one's in May 2011 :)

What Say You?

Tonight we had Lenten Reflections at Peta's place. It marked the first time we were all gathered at her home since Aunty Anne's departure from earth. It was kept unspoken but it felt like she's never left (in a good way, of course).

Anyway we reflected on Genesis 12:1-4 and share on a word that touched us, A WORD and not a phrase! That was tough to do as for most, it was a phrase or two that caught our attention but a word!

Getting down to it, most of us shared the same word: BLESSING

Everyone shared on how the Lord has played an important part in their lives, even at times when they didn't know of His presence there with them, in their times of darkness and trials.

Looking back, I have to say the Lord has definitely put me in the right direction despite my stubbornness and playful heart. He pulled me out of my sinking ship, gave me a good new workplace for refuge and restoration of my soul. This new workplace was near the Good Shepherd Cathedral where I would attend lunchtime mass sometimes and also where my godmother was working just across the road. She's always there with a listening ear, ever encouraging and supportive of my views, thoughts and decisions., and never for a moment, judge me. The Lord guided me through it all and one year later, I'm back to what I'm meant to do. And the post-it notes written to describe me by fellow colleagues, are to me, an affirmation of the Lord's blessing upon me. I thank and praise the Lord for his goodness and love for me. (erm btw the word 'gambler' was only because I had spent the weekend before at RWS :p but no casino ok! hehe.)

So here's the thing.

Life can really throw you off-course sometimes, but with the Lord always there, whether you know it or not, whether you want to acknowdedge His presence or not, whether you even believe in Him or not, He's there. All you have to do it open your heart to Him and speak to Him, for He is listening.

wisdom

I was reading (the Book of) Sirach today and I'm amazed at how relevant and close to heart it is to us even in today's context. Apart from the wise words on the need for reflection, self-control, the call to repentance and the majesty of God, he also touched on several topics like lying, loose talk, silence, speech and inappropriate speech, anger and vengence, hypocrisy, etc. Oh just so many things that we encounter on a day-to-day basis.

It's funny how some people's faces came to mind, including my own of course, as I read through some of his writings.

Well, one piece of wisdom to share with all of you :

"Do not revel in great luxury,
or you may become impoverished by its expense.
Do not become a beggar by feasting with borrowed money,
when you have nothing in your purse.
The one who does this will not become rich;
one who despises small things will fail little by little."
-Sirach 18:32 - 19:1

Praying for Time - Carrie Underwood

I Made my Choice!

I am finally signed up for Choice Weekend and will be attending it next weekend (28-30 Jan). I believe it's all in God's timing really. I was determined to attend it last year in Nov/Dec but I was just too swamped with Advent and Christmas preparations at church that I had to tell the organisers to push me to the next one. They got in touch with me last week and after pondering it over for 2 days, I said Yes.

Please pray for me during this time. Thank you and God bless you!

Afternote: I didn't attend it as I didn't feel quite prepared. I hope that I'd feel ready for the next one!