Let it be enough.

O my weary soul
So tired and feeling ol'
Always having to be the one
To do the work and make the run

Increase my faith O Lord my God
That I may be given peace and patience
Pour out your joy in what I have
To be thankful and content

Give me strength and shoes for my feet
Guide me along the road ahead
Cease the pain and pangs of famine
Grant me love forevermore

Amen.

New Life 2015 :)

Happy New Year dear friends :) Fast forward six months since my last post, and here we are on the first day of 2015! 

Many things and life events have taken place in the past 12 months, from having a new baby niece joined our family, to a new job, to a proposal from Mr Man :) I have so much to be thankful for and I know that I could not have possibly got through the year without the Lord's strength and guidance.

No doubt 2014 had been rather challenging when I started the year on a rocky road (my favourite ice-cream flavour but hard to swallow in real life terms!). The job situation was challenging but the Lord paved the way for me to have a break and blessed me with a job I had my eyes on. It's amazing how things just unfold and sometimes when you are feeling really down in the dumps and not quite seeing 'it' or understanding why things have to be this way, God just moves in His mysterious ways and surprises you! 

Having been in ministry work for so long, I felt that the time has come for me to pause all ministry activities while I transit and prepare myself for the major changes taking place soon in my life. It's temporary and I will return later this year. I can understand why some people may not be too pleased with my decision as we are in the middle of making some big plans for the implementation and rolling out of new programmes etc, that I had chosen to 'leave' but I wished they can understand why the move was imperative for me at this present life stage I am in. To be honest, there is never a good time to 'leave' and just for the record I ain't leaving, and I will be back. To conclude, I am at peace with my decision, and I am taking a time-out to settle other matters that requires my attention and time. However, I have to say I felt very disappointed with the response (or lack of it) received, but I was sharply reminded that it is the Lord I serve, and it is unto Him that I shall please. Anyway I love these people and will continue to keep them in prayer that they will be renewed in their service to the Lord and His people.

So yes, it's 2015 and time for preparation for a new chapter in life. Goals for this year will be to step up on the workouts, eating cleanly, saving wisely and be a good steward in all areas of my life! Thanks be to God!

Have a blessed 2015, everyone! Stay happy and healthy :)

He Never Fails

I had a really, really good day today. Nothing spectacular happened but it was the kind of quiet peaceful goodness reigning within your heart that you know it is coming from the Lord God. 

The day started out with a frantic desperate search for a cab but to no avail. I had a 10am church meeting that I did not want to be late for and the time was already 9.50am! Taking a bus would mean having to take two buses and about 20mins to get to church. Hence seeing that I didn't have much choice, I boarded the feeder bus that approached. 

However to my dismay, due to a massive traffic jam leading to the Woodlands Checkpoint, the bus had to stop at the T-junction and all passengers had to alight to walk to wherever as the bus was going to make a detour. I waited at the nearest bus stop and prayed and asked the Lord to please send a bus (or a cab!!) so that I could make it on time but all buses just zoomed past the bus stop as they were filled packed with people from the earlier bus stops, who were affected by the jam.

In my despair and desperation, I prayed and ask the Lord to please help me, and quickly as I really didn't want to be late!! I gave up hope on getting a cab as there were already two people ahead of me trying to flag down cabs, all of which had their red 'HIRED' sign on. So you can imagine my surprise when a red 'HIRED' cab drove by and stopped by the two people ahead of me to ask where they were going. The cabby turned down the first person and as I watched my eyes moved to the 2nd person. The cabby asked the 2nd person his location and apparently, it wasn't where he was headed to and so he turned down the second person!!

And then, here comes the cab as I started flagging it down like a 'siao char bor' (aiyah desperate lah). The cabby stopped and asked where, and I told him and PRAISE GOD ALLELUIA AMEN!!!!! He said OK!!!!  (hehe ok that's just me typing in caps to express how freaking excited and exhilarated I was!!).

The Lord NEVER fails!! Ask and you shall receive. Pray from your heart, not from your head! I may have been 10mins late but given the dire situation I was in, it could have been a lot worse!! 

The meeting was a fruitful and blessed one and we were able to accomplish some work, had a wonderful lunch with church friends at Causeway Point and then I headed to Novena Church thereafter. After that, I made my way to Holy Spirit Church of Sunset Mass and it was a pleasant surprise that my Mr. could join me. It was the Feast of Corpus Christi and I am ever grateful for the Lord 's love for me. After Mass, we were both ready for dinner and decided to bus down to Yishun for some ARNOLD'S FRIED CHICKEN!! OMG, IT WAS SOOOOOO FABULOUSLY GOOD!

On a serious note, today could have gone the other way having started the day with the 'bad jam-no cab' situation, and any spillover negative emotions from the past days. However, a simple prayer led to a day filled with so much peace and joy. 

For all that I am, all that I have, all that I know, I am truly grateful, thankful and blessed.

Moth to a Flame

Feels like it was just yesterday when I would be magnetically drawn to a Starbucks store and just buy a mocha frappe without thinking twice, not even asking the basic question of whether I even needed a cuppa or will I have enough for dinner after forking out a good $6 to $7 for a shot. It was draining me financially and quite frankly, shows nothing but a lack of self-control and discipline. I was helplessly addicted to it, and it affected me physiologically (caffeine), psychologically (brand association), and emotionally (temporary feel-good). 

Friends around me knew of my 'problem' and of course you get mixed comments like how "it's ok to just drink up, it's just coffee, you know you need it etc." then you also get some advising with "hey, you may want to consider switching to something cheaper, not too good for health too to keep drinking this etc".

So I take it all in both the good and the bad, and the strangest thing was that I already knew that it wasn't good to keep doing this but I just couldn't stop, or rather I THOUGHT I couldn't stop this cursed habit. I remember how bad it was, I would be working out in the gym and thinking how I'm going to grab that frappe right after the workout, I mean afterall I did just burned X no. of calories, I deserved a cuppa, don't I? I would justify with something weak like that.  So the time came, I knew I had to do something. I started praying. Didn't the Lord say 'Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be open?" Also, growing up there was this one bible verse that stuck to me and it was "I can do all things with Christ who strengthens me." Amen, I also had good friends who supported and encouraged me. 

After more than ten years of Starbucking, I'm finally freed from being a slave to the drink. I can walk past a Starbucks store without any cravings, desires, clingy thoughts to the cup. I switched to my weekly (not daily) McCafe coffee and if I'm out with my guy, I would order my teh xiudai from the foodcourt,Ya Kun, Toastbox or wherever I'm at, the point is, it doesn't have to be Starbucks. I don't shun it like the plague or something, I still drink Starbucks, and I love every drop of it still, the only difference now is that I am the one in control :) 

So yes, there is a point to my sharing. You reading this would have your own forms of addictions or issues (eg compulsive buying, anger, gossiping, gluttony, jealousy), here are some of my personal tips to help you overcome your sitch:

1. Acknowledge that you have a problem

No one needs to know. Chances are, they already do but they don't know how it really feels like to be you. You are the one walking in your own shoes so acknowledge that you have this problem and that you are going to overcome it. Just by acknowledging this, it's a great first step because it shows that you want to get out of this crappy vicious cycle-zone, and you will.

2. Small Steps

Nothing great happens overnight, it's all a built-up of small steps. I didn't go cold turkey with my Starbucks either, cos I would have failed miserably if I did that. It has to first be a conscious decision which you are committed to keeping. So whatever stage of addiction you are at now, make that conscious decision that you will make a slow but steady cutback. Eyes on the prize, baby! (Prize here refers to how you would like to see yourself at the end of this, eg better health, happier days, clearer conscious, bigger pockets now that you had successfully saved a few dollars!!)

3. Build a Good Support of Friends

Surround yourself with friends who build you up, friends who are truly happy for you when you make a progress towards your goal. Remember that they too have their own problems and addictions, so respect them the way they are, even if they are not as encouraging or 'inspiring' as you want them to be. Instead, you can be that person to them. Lead by example and let others see the change taking place in you.

4. Prayer

This list wouldn't be complete not at all, without prayer. Never underestimate the power of prayer, better still if your friends can pray for you too. The Lord made us and He knows our constant struggles with our weaknesses. We are no saints but He loves us all the same and He will help us overcome our struggles, but first your heart needs to be open to receive. Do not give up in life, there is always hope, hope in the Lord.

I know it's not easy, and I can tell you, you will fail the first few times, but this consciousness of wanting to change will bug you so bad and raise your awareness to new heights that you will want this for yourself. I mean afterall, you owe it to yourself and you worked hard for it, why throw it all away?

patience and prayer

Today, I've learnt a very important lesson.  Because I had wanted to be seen peace-loving, not be the wet blanket or the 'partypooper' or be seen as naggy, I took a backseat after my views and suggestions were made known with regards to a session we run once a year. Generally, I do not impose my views on people, neither will I force anyone to do things my way. If I have told you why we should really do things this way, what more can I say, without losing you altogether? And because I was not assertive enough to convince on the importance of this and that, I had 'allowed' for a kids session to lose all focus on the basis of prayer. It was nothing short of a playgroup hour. And we lost a precious hour. I have never felt so conflicted. I can only pray for the spirit of peace, openness, understanding to be amongst me and my brothers and sisters. May we continue to be guided by God's spirit, for us to do His work according to His will. Amen.

Martha, Martha!!

Why must we eat? We eat because if we don't, we get weak and eventually we die if our body is starved for food for days. When we get weak, we don't have what it takes to do our daily work, activities, fun and play. Instead, we become susceptible to all kinds of ailments, diseases etc. So why do we eat? We eat so that we get filled up with the energy and strength to do the work while we are here alive on earth.

Why must we pray? We pray because if we don't, our souls get weak and we become vulnerable to feeling sorry for ourselves, we allow darkness and sin to creep in. We think it's ok to be indifferent to situations, 'as long as it doesn't concern me', we do as we please and we please who we want to please just so that 'everybody lives happily ever after'. Priorities get all mixed up!

Martha, from today's Gospel reading (Luke 10:38-42)  was so eager to please the Lord with her chores and service to ensure that He was well taken care of. Mary on the other hand, sat at the feet of Jesus listening to him as He spoke. Upset with her sister for not helping her, Martha asked Jesus to ask Mary to come and help her instead of sitting there. Aha! What did Jesus say to that?

"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed - or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:41-42)

That's us right there. We get so caught up with the doing, that we forget that Jesus our Lord is right there in our midst!!  Doing the Lord's work is great, oh ho, but it's never easy and you know it. You serve the Lord and his people in ministry work, and just like Mary, if done with the right heart and spirit, one that is open to the voice of the Lord, you should never grow tiresome, burnt out and weary because the Lord will give you rest ["Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest." Matt 11:28]. 

Was Martha wrong to be so eager to serve the Lord? No. She had every right to feel excited to welcome Jesus into her home, and I mean come on, it's King Jesus coming through your doors and into your house, of course all you Marthas out there will want to make sure He is well taken care of. We have played hosts to guests before, some of which you may regard as 'very important guests' and extra measures are taken to ensure that everything is there to put the guest at ease and comfort. So what went wrong for her? Just like Martha, many of us can relate to her (myself included!!), we go about doing doing doing and get so tired, burned out and complain A LOT about this and that. Jesus was right there, in her house. Martha got caught up with the 'doing' and got consumed with feelings of negativity towards her sister Mary, who had chosen to sit and listen to Jesus. 

Doing great works and acts of kindness and goodness may leave you filling empty and discontented, if done without the foundation of a good solid prayer life. Yes, just like Martha, your intentions are good and pure. However, it becomes distorted over time when you grow weary and tired and have no idea why you got into the doing in the first place. That first place will have to be the only place you start and end with. That is sitting with Jesus, and spending that time with Him, in prayer. 

Jesus is right here in our hearts and lives, right now as you read this, He is with us and inviting you and I, to come and sit with him and spend time with him. If you feel like talking to Him, then talk, have an exchange of words and thoughts with him, tell him what's on your mind, He already knows it anyway so you can go straight to the point to tell him how you feel. I would however, recommend you setting aside some quiet minutes alone with the Lord. Put away your cellphone, tv, music, game box, calendar planners, gadgets and anything and everything that is keeping you away from the one thing you really need. Go. 

Spend that quiet time with Jesus.

Melbourne Air 2013

I really praise and thank the Lord God for this time I have right here in wonderful Melbourne! The cold fresh air is so good for the soul! LOL. Well, for my soul that is. Really helps to uplift one up and give a renewed fresh perspective on things.

Living in Singapore can be rather crappy but life in Singapore don't have to be. Read that again and again, until you get it. Whenever you find yourself complaining about this and that, stop yourself. Start thinking of what you will now do to make things better. Note to self: Complaining and whining is NOT ATTRACTIVE.

With that said, I'm going to do my best to give my best, until this soul of mine gets ol' and weary, it's probably then time to book another flight out for a recharge session :) For now, it's back to the super-duper Target Store! :) wheeee! Thank you Jesus! :)

♥♥♥