Let go and Let God

I was tasked to source for a song that we can use for this coming weekend's session with the kids. So in order to do that, I had to first read up on this Sunday’s gospel (Mark 13:24-32), find out the theme etc and find an apt song that we could teach the kids. Well, praise the Lord for He provided me with a wonderful song called “I PROMISE YOU” (performed by Trevor Nerva, CD: Walking with Jesus). 

As I was listening to the song on repeat mode, trying to get the lyrics down on PPT slides, it slowly became quite apparent that the song was really intended for me. Faced with more downs than ups lately, coupled with pure exhaustion and a massive burnout waiting to happen, I pretty much needed to hear what was right there, playing to me. 

Through the song, I was assured of His love for me and it reminded to lean and rely on God’s promises. Yes, we all go through trials and challenges, disappointment and hurts, knocking us down and out. When things just don’t go your way, the only way left (which should have been the only way to go in the first place!) is to let it all go and lift it up to the Lord, for He will take care of things. You will then see how everything will just fall into place, as you see how things start to unfold, all beautifully and wonderfully made, in His time. 

May the Lord bless each one of you abundantly and guide you in all you do always. Remember to turn to Him in good times and in bad, for He will always be there.

Full Circle

Two weeks ago, I moved back in to my old work cubi, where I had sat previously before I left (two years ago). It's complicated to list the chronology of movement but to keep it simple, returning to the old cubi after all this time, it feels surreal and I feel so blessed at the same time. It's coming full circle for me, especially after 'surviving' what life had in-store on the pretty rough roller-coaster ride. The Lord has been with me every step of the way and I am eternally grateful to God the Father for all that He has blessed me with.

To those who are going through a rough patch or feel stuck in a rut, lift it all up to the one who cares for you. Cast your burden unto Him and let Him carry you up on His Spirit wings. Remember to keep the faith and keep going. 

Need inspiration to get started? Go catch this DVD movie 'FACING THE GIANTS' or 'SOUL SURFER'.

May the Lord bless you and lift you up on His Spirit Wings. Amen!

Spirit Wings

Some birds live in cages
They never learn to fly
And like those birds, I never found my wings
But Lord, your love released me
So I could see the sky
And now my heart rejoices as I sing

Chorus:

Spirit Wings,
You lift me over all the earth bound things
And like a bird, my heart is flying free
I'm soaring on the song your spirit brings
O Lord of all, You let me see
A vision of, your majesty
You lift me up
And carry me on your spirit wings

Now when I'm feeling lonely
I just look at You
And soon my heart is soaring high above
Everything is clearer
From Your point of view
Lifted up on spirit wings of love

My 1st Prison Run - 16 Sep 2012

My first challenge was having to wake up at 0445hrs just to make sure I do not miss the six o'clock shuttle bus to the run venue in Changi. So yes, I made it to the bus and found myself headed bright and early to Changi. Of course, the main challenge was the run itself! This was my first 6KM run and the route was not a breeze, not to say that the runs completed at East Coast Park was any easy but this one right here really was the ultimate! It had many ups and downs, a lot like life. Yes, you can't help but to let your mind do the reflection and critical analysis on life when you're struggling to 'run' uphill with the wind blowing against you. Also, in the midst of the uphill trudging, I couldn't help but envy the cyclists enjoying their fun and easy ride downhill on the opposite side of the road. 

I've participated in mostly 5KM runs before and they usually have at least 2 waterpoints; one at the 1.8km mark and the other maybe 3.5km mark thereabouts. At this run however, they had just one waterpoint at the 3km mark and I was sooooo close to giving up. Well, I couldn't give up the run no matter how tiring and close I was to throwing in the towel. Firstly, it was because the bf was there to make sure I kept going, in spite of my irate state and eye-rolling glares in the midst of the buckets of perspiration and legs that started to feel led-heavy. Second reason why I had to complete the run and not give up? They had transported all our deposited baggage to the prison grounds aka the Finish Point and so I had to finish it now, didn't I?? :p 

It was also interesting to see the inside of the prison grounds, a huge big open field, surrounded by high walls and the cells were all in buildings that looked very much like HDB blocks on the outside, but only with highly-placed grilled-bar windows. The Yellow Ribbon Project does help to raise much awareness on unlocking the second prison (ie society) for ex-convicts. For more information, do visit http://www.yellowribbon.org.sg/

Praise the Lord for the strength and grace for me to complete my 6KM run :)

Proud Finisher :))

Fit to Run

This week, I am inspired by the strength, determination and tenacity of two very outstanding women. 

One would be my aunt, who in her sixties, had climbed and reached the base of Mt Everest just two days ago. We are very proud of her and we await her return for her to share with us her experience. 

The other, a female colleague of mine, had returned last week from climbing Mount Kinabalu. Out of the many who dropped out along the way, she was one of only three people who managed to scale to the peak of Mt Kinabalu. When asked what kept her going during this grueling experience, she shared how she had envision herself completing the climb and posing happily at the top! Having that positive image in mind kept her going and that in itself to me, is as real as it gets. 

In the past two years, I had started to get serious with keeping fit and healthy. I guess when you reach a certain age, realisation just hits you that life is indeed short and with whatever number of years you're left with, you had better make the most out of life. And to do that, you will need to have a fit and healthy body. It doesn't matter what size or shape you are, what matters most is you take the first step, show up and get it done. Everything else will fall into place.

I recall the day back in 2010 when I started out with my first gym experience at a workplace that came with free gym access for staff. So excited and foreign to this facility, I had packed in my father's shoes by mistake. What's a girl to do? Like Nike would say, 'Just do it!' right? So I put them on, and prayed no one noticed 'what big feet I have' and that was how I got started. For someone who disliked running very much, I decided that I was going to brisk walk on the treadmill. One thing led to another, I started jogging and then increased the speed a little and today, I'm still a work-in-progress :)  Practice makes perfect and you can't rush perfection. 

I have a 6km Yellow Ribbon run this Sunday and I hope to do my best. Can I do it? Just like what this good article here says, "it's not really a question of 'can you' - it is more a question of 'WILL YOU?'. 

Stay tuned ;)

Happy.

Sometimes, when you've been through a really rough patch, then something wonderful comes along, it's hard to articulate the immense feelings of gratefulness and thankfulness that is within, unto God the Father. He has been kind and merciful towards me, and I am indeed blessed and thankful. Praise be to God, our Almighty Father! :)

What's In Your Basket?

Tonight, I met up with a couple of friends from the children's ministry and together we headed to Holy Spirit Church for the Children's Eucharistic Adoration. It was indeed a blessed way to end the work week.

The gospel that was shared tonight was on the five loaves and two fishes. I've listened to this gospel story many many times, and had also told the story to the kids many many times. I would always note the kindness and willingness of the little boy to give all that he had, the power of our awesome God to perform the miracle to feed the crowd and how there was so much food in abundance leftover.

And yet in today's sermon, Father Emmanuel (a visiting French priest) posed a question that made me see the story in a new and different light. He asked: What will you put in that basket to give to Jesus?

It is always comforting to know that we have a best friend who truly cares for us and who knows exactly how we feel, when we feel what we feel. Knowing that I can lift up my sorrows, pain and my never-ending anxieties to Him helps me get through the day, with faith and trust in Him. I hope to be able to put in that basket all that I’ve got, to love and serve Him.

Coincidentally, I was youtubing for a nice song to go with this posting and this came up as one of the top search results. And guess what? Corrine May was actually there tonight with her child for the Eucharistic Adoration. I can’t say that I am familiar with her or her music but knowing how she has inspired some of my friends through her God-given talents, I have to admit I was quite thrilled that she was right there, taking a photo with my friend Justina!

Enjoy the video :)

Teach By Example

"If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with pity, he learns to feel sorry for himself.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with jealousy, he learns to hate.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns to be confident.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with praise, he learns to be appreciative.
If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with recognition, he learns to have a goal.
If a child lives with sharing, he learns about generosity.
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.
If a child lives with honesty, he learns what truth is.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself.
If a child lives with friendliness, he learns that the world is a nice place to live in."


(Dorothy Nolte, "Children Learn What They Live," Scouting Magazine (April, 1964), page 31, as quoted in The Teaching Ministry of the Church, page 114)

From Light to Darkness

Have you ever walked around with your eyes wide open but you can't see a thing in front of you, not even your own hand placed before your face? Today I participated a session organised by Dialogue in the Dark, Singapore. It was a very, very interesting experience with various emotions set in my entire being.

At the very initial point of entering total darkness, I have to admit that fear gripped my heart as my eyes were opened and yet I could not see. Few minutes into the 'darkroom', I found that it felt more comfortable to just keep my eyes closed. Equipped with a walking cane, we were led by a blind guide named Jason who was simply amazing. He knew exactly where we were in the room, gave clear instructions on where we should be walking and what we should be looking out for. What I was moved by was his confidence and cheerful disposition with us.

Some points to highlight based on today's experience and 'observation' would be:

1. I remember thinking loudly in my head, 'Thank you Lord for the gift of sight. Thank you, thank you, thank you.'

2.  I have learnt that we need to listen more and speak less, especially when we are in a situation in which we do not have much control or information on.

3. In your moment of 'darkness' in life, it is normal to be fearful of the unknown, the unseen, the uncertainty. We just need to remember to keep our focus on the voice of the One helping you through it all.

I would highly recommend Dialogue in the Dark to all to attend.

It will help you 'see' things in a different light.

Life In The Spirit

I've been on a spiritual low since the Lenten days and now that it's Easter, I thought I'd be okay but somehow deep within, there's still this gnawing tug that draws me in to succumb to feeling even lower. And so reading what Fr William Goh had written yesterday, it had hit me spot on nail on the head. Here's what he said:

"Today, the gospel reminds us that the Spirit is free, for Jesus said, “Do not be surprised when I say: You must be born from above. The wind blows wherever it pleases; you hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. That is how it is with all who are born of the Spirit.” We must be open to how the Spirit is moving and acting in our lives. This does not mean that the Spirit is against the institution. No, the institution is meant to protect, and not stifle the Spirit. But we cannot reduce the Spirit to an institutional mode.

How then can we recover this Spirit, if it’s not the need to strengthen our personal relationship with the Holy Spirit? We need a renewal of the life of the Holy Spirit in us, especially for those of us who are active in Church ministry and not merely those who are inactive in Church. If we feel that our enthusiasm for the Lord is lacking and that we are simply working for the Lord or for the Church, accomplishing our work as tasks and forgetting the real objective of bringing the love of Christ to others, then we will find Church ministry burdensome and stifling. We need a recharge and a rebirth in the power of the Spirit. There is no other way to do this then to deepen our prayer life, our love for the Word and the Sacraments. For those who have been working in the Church, either as volunteers or full-time workers, an annual retreat is indispensable. If not, we lose our focus and Church ministry will become no different from secular work. Unless we constantly remind ourselves of the need to build and strengthen our relationship with the Lord, we will lose our fervour and faith in Him. We must pray for a new outpouring of the Holy Spirit so that our faith will neither become institutionalized, nor our relationships with Him become ritualized. Once we lose the Spirit, we lose the power of the gospel to effect transformation in the lives of people whom we minister to."

By Rev Father William Goh
Read his full writings here:
http://csctr.net/16-april-2012-second-monday-of-easter
(2nd Monday of Easter, 16 April 2012, Readings taken from ACTS 4:23-31; JN 3:1-8)

A Wonderful, Blessed Surprise!

Blessed Easter to all my readers! :) Hope the Easter joy of our Risen Lord Jesus Christ resonates in your heart!

Today is a very special day for me. After ten long years, I had managed to get back in touch with a special friend who had been like a mentor to me in my late teens. We had worked together to form a young girls' group called "The Mustard Seed" for girls aged 12 to 15. This must have been in 1998 and I had always been thankful to have her as my mentor and friend. In 2001, I started a job that required me to work shifts, hence I could no longer commit to the group and had since lost touch with her.

Just some short weeks ago, a friend was sharing with me about a 1-day Lenten retreat and that they had invited this lady to conduct the session. In an instant, I just knew it had to be the same person and immediately tried my best to make contact. So I managed to get hold of her email address, dropped her an email and she replied! 

So today was a really wonderful day as it was meant to be. After 10 years, God had intended for us to meet today as she's leaving for Wales in 2 weeks time! She's now a trained Counselor and a truly wonderful person. I am just really happy that we managed to meet today :) 

Thank you Lord!

P.S: I brought along my camera but I guess in my excitement and we were too busy playing catch-up, I had forgotten to have a photo taken with her!! oh well, hopefully I don't have to wait another ten years!! :) hehee..

All This Time

I felt love, I felt your grace

You stole my heart that day

You were walking with me,

♥ You've been walking with me all this time ♥

walk on the water! :)

Every once in a while, a song hits you at every angle that you simply know it's meant for you at this present moment of your life. At least that's how it is for me :) Being on leave this entire week is something I've always wanted but never had the chance to do so. After this week, I'll be moving into a new role in a new dept at a new cubi with new dept-mates to work with. Trying not to think about it only makes it worse cos then I think about it ALL THE TIME! lol. I trust the Lord will walk with me as I start the new chapter come Monday.

For now, this week has been blissful and blessed. Time is a gift from God, ya know and I am very thankful for this time right now in my life.

I finally had time to catch up on this movie called SOUL SURFER based on a true story of a 13yo girl's courage to live on after she lost an arm in a shark attack. One of those movies that really makes you feel like you can accomplish anything after watching it! :) A must-see for all! :)

You look around, staring back at you
Another wave of doubt, will it pull you under? You wonder
What if I'm overtaken? What if I never make it?
What if no one's there? Will You hear my prayer?

When you take that first step into the unknown
You know that He won't let you go

So what are you waiting for? What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities, they try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more, so don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes, and you can walk on the water, too

So get out, and let your fear fall to the ground
No time to waste, don't wait, and don't you turn around and miss out
Everything you were made for, I know you're not sure
So you play it safe, you try to run away

If you take that first step into the unknown
He won't let you go

So what are you waiting for? What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities, they try to hold to you
But you know you're made for more, so don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes, and you can walk on the water, too

Step out, even when it's storming
Step out, even when you're broken
Step out, even when your heart is telling you
Telling you to give up

Step out, when your hope is stolen
Step out, you can't see where you're going
You don't have to be afraid
So what are you waiting, what are you waiting for?

So what are you waiting for? What do you have to lose?
Your insecurities try to hold to you
You know you're made for more, so don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all it takes, and you can walk on the water
Walk on the water, too

"Walk On the Water" Performed By Britt Nicole

"A Hardhearted Harvest"

"When a person first sins," Chip Ingram writes in Holy Transformation, "there may be a short-lived thrill, but there also enters into the heart remorse and regret. But if the person continues in sin, there comes a time when he loses all sensation and can do the most shameful things without feeling at all. His conscience has become petrified."

May I offer you a word of encouragement?

While you can't go back and undo the past or avoid its consequences, you can make choices today that will improve your future. Even if you are living out consequences not entirely of your own making.

[Taken from the book 'Having a Mary Spirit: Allowing God to change us from the inside out' by Joanna Weaver]

The Dress Code Issue

With the recent buzz that made the headlines in the newspapers and online media on matters arising from my parish, I am saddened by how things have turned out.

The dress code issue have been the hot topic of late. People (who do not know better) react quickly when they read headlines that says, 'Woman Told She'll be Banned from Church if she Turned Up in this outfit again'. Opinions are quickly formed and judgement is made on how terrible this church must be to stop someone from entering. Was the word 'banned' really used? Were they first time visitors to the parish? Do you have the full story?

There are so many areas to address, on so many levels.

1. Why did it have to be implemented in the first place? Do church-goers not know how to dress when they attend the Eucharistic Celebration (also known as Mass) of our Lord? Apparently not. Hence the campaign to dress appropriately kicked in because there were people coming in shorts and slippers, sunglasses on their heads as well as very sexy clothes, mostly aligned with the trends of the world. Sure, these clothes may be branded and cost a lot of money, so do you then wear your branded hot pants to a wedding dinner? Or maybe you had been invited to a royal event, do you go in slippers and shorts? So it is rather sad that people (of today) need to be told or reminded to dress appropriately.

2. The Implementation. I shall not go into details here but all I want to say about this is that it was not implemented very well at all. More thought (and soft skills required by wardens) should have been put into how this can be done to avoid crushing the spirit of a person whose intention was to attend Mass. To be denied entry into church is harsh. I thought only God can judge us, and He will. In the meantime, there should be clear and simple guidelines on a dresscode, those who know about it and still fail to adhere to it will be dealt with the big guy himself. Those who really don't know about the guidelines are probably visitors to the parish (imagine being turned away if they are visiting for the first time!) and can't be faulted.

Just abit of background, this was not implemented overnight. People have been informed for more than a year to dress appropriately that this going to happen if there was no improvement. A year on, letters were then given to those who still fail to dress appropriately, asking them to take note, for future reference.

3. The Reaction. I mean, I do get how upset one must be to be denied into the church for Mass. Trust me, I would be too if I was stopped, as it is I disliked how the wardens 'check me out' each time I walk in ;) hahaha. But you have a choice to react in a Christ-like manner (good time to practise obedience, humility and lots of patience for that moment of anger) or behave like a hooligan.

Last November, I was right there when a man yelled at Father because his wife was not permitted into the church. The anger that was expressed in his loud booming voice resounded through the church foyer. Even people seated inside the church turned back to see what the commotion was about. Visibly upset, he stormed off with his wife, after calling for his two young teenage boys out of church both looking very confused at what just happened, and the family of four walked away. That sight stayed with me till this day. What were the kids going to think about the church?

I wish people would just stop to think before reacting so massively such as posting on a tabloid online website and in the papers too.

Did you stop to think about the repercussions of what you have done?

Courageous

Thoughts for now.

2012 started on a good note. The 17 days that followed however felt a little far from it.

Work was hectic, enjoyable (tho' brief) dinner catch-ups with friends filled up most work nights, leaving me with the weekends for church, family ad getting ready for the new week. Amidst all the busy-ness, I just found myself wishing for things to just slow down. You know the saying 'Take the time to smell the roses.' I did not have time to spot the roses, let alone smell them.

So feeling like rather crappy, I headed to church for our first meeting of 2012. It was wonderful seeing each other again (since our last advent for kids session) and my heart was just uplifted as I quietly listened to everyone's heartfelt sharing on what we were thankful for in the Year 2011. Towards the end of the meeting, Peta asked us to choose a bookmark, each with a different picture and a bible verse. I selected this one as it reminded me much of the old fort on St Paul's Hill in Melaka and I love old buildings like these. And God's message to me came clearly to me as I read the verse printed on the bookmark:

May the Lord continue to guide us in our daily lives, send down his Holy Spirit upon us and give us the strength and energy to do His will here on earth.

Perfecting Perfection

Came across an article in the Catholic News (Jan 29, 2012) written by Karen Osborne titled:"Forget about wanting things perfect in 2012 - That ain't gonna happen..." The title in bold printed letters caught my attention and I read on. You may refer to the online version here. I guess the 'perfectionist' in me reacted to the title with, "what do you mean?? nooo.. things have to be PERFECT!" After reading the article, it had pointed out alot of things which you and I already know, but often tend to forget easily.

"We have to remember that every single human being ever born on this earth has character flaws. Maybe you know someone who has shoplifted. You definitely know people who have lied. You know people who have cheated. Every single human being has passed on gossip... When our friends fail us, we can sometimes get so caught up in how awful we feel that we forget we’re just like them — that that we are not perfect either, and that we’ve all disappointed someone else..."

So how do we move on and make the best of things when we are faced with disappointments by people and events? The only real way?

"The only real way to strive for a perfection that lasts is to forgive others - and to forgive ourselves...Forgiveness paves the way for both you and the person who wronged you, to make something beautiful and new out of your relationship."

And my favourite liner of the article is, "This, ultimately, is the "perfect" solution."